9/15/2024

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Where will i go to run when everything feels so heavy?

Lately i've been distanced myself from everyone, i stopped talking too much, started to ghost/ignore them, i don't want anyone to distract my solitude.

i met a lot of people for searched many heart in hopes to find a home, but i only felt more homeless leaving each ne i have entered.

did u know the saddest part of being "this phase" "relapse" is...
i start questioning my worth gain, do i deserve this? do i don't deserve love? but why?

i remember when i making promises to myself, i said "no matter how much world mistreats me, i'll always choose to be kind, heartwarming and loving". but then i realized, sometimes im not that strong girl like everyone's did. where i do run when everything feels so heavy? where's i do run when im at my lowest point? who's gonna proud of me? 

maybe in this life, in this phase, in this journey isn't about love. and here, i speak to myself, "you'll be okay, u can get through this phase. here, i'm just focus on my self, upgrading every angle of myself until i meet my soulmate.

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