fathinaazzahra

Aku inget pertama kali kita ketemu, nggaakan pernah nyangka aku sama kamu bisa sampe sejauh ini. Meski saat ini kita banyak berantem, saling nyakitin satu sama lain, bahkan aku yang banyak ngecewain kamu zid. Aku ngerasa ngga pernah pantes buat dapetin kamu, kok bisa aku sejahat itu sama kamu? :")  13 Juli aku nulis blog ini, hari ini ulang tahunmu sayang. Selamat bertambah usia sayangku, belahan jiwaku, pelipur laraku.. semoga kamu senantiasa diberi kenikmatan yang nggaada habisnya, diberkahi, sehat dan panjang umur. Apapun harapan kamu, dan doa kamu semoga bisa terwujud satu satu. sayang, dunia mungkin boleh hancur dan berantakan, kita mungkin boleh berantem terus, tapi semoga kamu dan aku selalu dikuatkan, saling meluk satu sama lain, dan ngga akan pernah melepas genggaman satu sama lain. tapi jangan pernah nyerah sama keadaan ya sayang, jangan pernah nyerah sama hubungan kita. kalau emang udah nggaada alesan lagi buat kamu bisa bertahan sama aku, jadiin aku alesan terakhir kam...

 ..or will knowing me deeper teach you how to love me better? the fear that if someone sees all of it-- the cracked edges, the unspoken grief, the truths not wrapped in petty language-- they'll walk away. not because of anything cruel, but because knowing the real version feels heavier than they signed up for. that's what it feels like. sometimes -- like being deeply known is dangerous. people often fall for the version of someone they can romanticize. the on who laughs just enough, shares stories carefully edited for charm, and hides the deeper aches behind a practiced smile. and so the questions begin: what if the unfiltered version i too much? what if the real story changes how they look at everything? what if the full truth makes the love disappear? These past few years, I’ve often imagined what it would be like to finally meet my soulmate— someone who would love me with tenderness, who would accept every part of me— my flaws, my history, my darkest secret-- Someone who...

Dear you Z I remember the first time we met, i wasn't looking for love. i was running away from it. but u came into my life with carry so much love and effort. how can someone before me didn't see what i see. sometimes i look at him didn't notice a whole beautiful universe hidden within him. sometimes i look at him and im feeling lucky that they didn't because they looked deep enough to see all of those things within him. and then i wouldn't have been able to have chance to love you the what i do. the day i met you, i had no idea this would be how it would turn out. i felt that something would happen but didn't know i was going to fall this deep in love with him. as this time and liked turned to love i knew i could gibe my heart to you. everything about you makes me feel the most comfortable ive ever been/ not just your presence but your action, your words, how can someone not mad at me cause i complain about the smallest things or get moody for no reason? i exp...

ternyata aku cuma bisa bertahan sampe 6-7 bulan, aku ngga bisa nahan sampe kontrak abis. apa aku terlalu cengeng ya, apa aku ngerasa aku berlebihan ya sama diri aku, apa jangan2 aku emang yang ngga becus sama semua ini? aku ngga cukup kompeten apa ya? tapi diluar itu semua aku setidaknya jujur sama perasaanku sendiri. my feelings are valid. aku ngga bisa ngga berontak pas atasan marahin aku karena salah ngeprint dan katanya aku ngeabisin banyak kertas, padahal kertas itu ngga abis banyak2 amat dan emang bisa di reimburse pake duit kantor. aku juga ngga bisa kl gajawab pertanyaan atasanku katanya aku kl salah tetep aja bisa jawab bukannya ngakui salah. aku masih inget kok gimana omongan dia pas aku izin izin kuliah dan aku disuruh berhenti aja gausah kerja. aku juga masih inget kl aku dibilang uler karena perkara aku resign langsung ngajuin ke bagian SDM. aku masih inget gimana jeleknya dan kasarnya omongan dia ke aku. kayak orang yang asal ceplos dan ga pernah di didik. yang bisa aku l...

i love so  easily bcs i was raised with a love that's so easy. its why everytime i try to be numb and hard. they make it so simple. love when u can. give when u can. understand what you can. and if it all falls apart, like it usually goes, come back with the peace of having given it your all. so i try to be kind. i try, try and try. i want to get drunk and cry. it's feels like every beat of my heart in my bones and try to be kind. i'm hurt and i feel every gush of my blood in my chest. i'm lied  to and i feel every tear of their words in my soul, and i try to be kind.  i'm left behind and i feel every inch of empty space on my skin and try to be kind.

topic: if you believe in something that's right, does that make anything else wrong, or just there or something kind of ranking in rightness?